syntax of the river
The river is not going to judge you, or tell you that you are wrong. Out here, you can “examine the shape of your own prejudices without fear of reprisal.” Observe the river, and be mindful of what Heraclitus said: you cannot step in the same river twice. It may seem timeless, but as you make this argument of timelessness, a rock at the bottom of the river will spring loose, and there goes your argument. The change that you think is never going to come has been here and gone. So develop the appropriate coping mechanism (the syntax) by discerning the three-dimensional set of relationships; this will awaken you to how complex all of this is at any particular moment.
You also need discipline and hunger to make use of the syntax you have developed in order to apply it to that which benefits others. “Whatever it is that you are doing, you must do it in a way that helps.” And if you are in over your head, that is where you are supposed to be. When you are at the edge of your capacity is when you are most capable of refining and making your work better. Maybe this time you will not pull it off; recognize the state of unease as necessary and reside with the pain. Vulnerability can be utilized as a weapon against doubt. Happiness is a state of spiritual poise.
notes:
remember the Promethean legend: Prometheus steals fire from the gods with the idea that this new tool will make life easier and better for human beings, that the acquired technology ("the ability to manipulate materials and make things from them") helps humans face entropic reality ("no matter how integrated you try to remain every day, disintegration is the rule of everything"). But this technology also increases the capacity for destruction if not used responsibly, creating even more chaos. Justice and reverence are "among the cardinal virtues - that is, the characterization of behaviors in human beings all over the world that transcend religion" because they discourage impulsivity and selfishness.
consider what Heisenberg said when asked "If you get to heaven, what would you ask God?": "Well, I would ask him about relativity and about turbulence. I'd expect him to have an answer about the first." Turbulence, or chaos, is therefore incredibly complex.
contemplate what the biologists say about the possibility that beings like us exist on other planets: the odds are incredibly low. It's a complete accident that we are here.